20.

Them Crooked Vultures

Them Crooked Vultures

The term ’super group’ usually transaltes to self-indulgent tripe but Them Crooked Vultures really broke the trend with their debut. It’s probably about 20 minutes too long and lacks any real stand-out tunes but what is there is solid boogy rock played hard and fast. Still only the second best band either Homme, Growl or Jones has been in but this was a pleasent surprise and grew on me immensely after a few listens.

19.

Mono

Hymn to The Immortal Wind

The genre of post rock is always something I’ve struggled to become immersed in, and this year has dropped out of favour almost completely. It just seems many bands make plundering, dull music that lasts way too long and only serves to frustrate out of repetitive tedium. That said, some bands loosely tagged as post rock just because, ya know, they don’t have vocals do break the mould. One of these bands is Japenese outfit Mono who while being a deafening live band have crafted a work of ambient instrumental beauty on Hymn to the Immortal Wind, the melodies are heart breaking and the ambient parts actually play a part instead of just linking together climaxes. It establishes Mono as Post Rock’s top dogs, simply because the music they play is too hypnotic to be tagged with such a tiresome label.

18.

Placebo

Battle For The Sun

This year the track ‘The Bitter End’ shot me into a phase on listening to nothing but Placebo, leading up to me getting their latest - Battle For the Sun. In many ways the album is Placebo by numbers, but for somebody new to the band that’s not a problem. With tracks like the electronic-driven ‘Julien’ and the anthemic riot ‘Breath Under Water’ you can’t doubt their skill at crafting rock songs with a hint of originalilty and killer choruses all round.

17.

Isis

Waivering Radient

Structurally complexed, with meandering instrumental soundscapes crushing into massive metal breakdowns, this an Isis record alright. Sadly it has a little bit too much meandering, and not enough genuine innovation to push it further up the list. If only all the tracks on the album were as good as ‘Threshold of Transformation’ it could have been special, as it stands even an Isis album with a little too much filler is still better than most other metal bands.

16.

John Frusciante

The Empyrean

John Frusciante’s solo work has always outshone most of what the Chili Peppers put out, and The Empyrean was no exception. Arriving right at the start of the year this takes the listener on a spiritual journey from the start to the end of life, so far so conceptial. The music itself was slightly let down by the poor production, I believe it was recorded in Frusciante’s house, but the virtuoso playing from all the members involved really shines on what is an adventurous, if a little messy, listen.

15.

Regina Spektor

Far

A cynical colleague of mine jokingly once commented ‘…so sad and beautiful’ when I put this on, it would be a fitting comment if not for the intended cynicism as Regina’s rolling piano loveliness fitted with dramatic, eccentric song-writing may sound cliched in the wrong hands, but Regina makes it all sound charmingly unconventional.

14.

Cobra Skulls

American Rubicon

The best straight forward punk release of the year, containing insightful and often funny lyrics and played with a great deal of energy and skill, channelling bands like Against Me! And maybe even Dead Kennedys with a rockabilly rhythm.

13.

Manic Street Preachers

Journal For Plague Lovers

This was a daring album by all accounts, with all lyrics taken from a booklet left to the band by Richey Edwards before he mysteriously disappeared off the face of the earth. It’s a raw, dark album that still retains its accessibility, and the pop sensibilities of previous mid-career Manic’s albums. With lyrics and themes going to show why their lost band member has become such an cult figure in British rock.

12.

The Decemberists

The Hazards of Love

This is a concept album with a particular loony concept (I believe it to be a tale of a woman named Margeret who gets ravaged by shape-shifting animals….. right), is structured like an opera at a lengthy 70 minutes and spans many genres, from folk to metal, even including a children’s choir and more instruments than I can probably name. It’s frequently astounding and only when listening to, as intended, in full does it really shine. A grandeur masterpiece.

11.

Frank Turner

Poetry of the Deed

Shouty Frank Turner had a lot of expectation resting on his shoulders after the underground breakout of “Love, Ire and Song”. Signing to big-name indie Epitaph in America and getting a lot of press it all seemed a bit blown-up for a man who plays simple introspective songs about refusing to grow up when approaching thirty, growing disillusioned with Britain, and struggling against a weight to conform. He’s the new Billy Bragg, a punk heart hiding behind an acoustic guitar and a sensitive demeanour. Unfortunately despite a couple of stand-out tracks (’the Road’, ‘Try This at Home’, ‘Journey of Magi’) Poetry of the Deed falls a little flat, some songs lack that song-writing spark where his usually shines through and the basic arrangements sag around the middle. However, it’s only a minor disappointment, the new backing band adds a lot on tracks like Our Lady Of the Campfire, and Frank’s heart is still firmly in the right place.

10.

The Twilight Sad

Forget The Night Ahead

When those winter nights roll in there is no better soundtrack than The Twilight Sad’s second full-length. Setting dark introspective instrumentals to a pulsating rhythm section and lyrics that howl with a deep Scottish brogue.

9.

A Death in the Family

Small Town Stories

The sub-genre of bands that sounds like Leatherface is now crowded enough to be labelled as ‘gruff punk’, one band to stand out from the crowd and almost match the masters for growling voiced emotional punk is Australia’s A Death in the Family. Small Town Stories, vaguely a concept album, chuggs by at a rugged mid-tempo, and real adult emotion shines through beneath the growl of the lead man’s voice.

8.

Polar Bear Club

Chasing Hamburg

A definite departure from their debut full-length, this sees Polar Bear Club hone their angular, gruff post-hardcore sound into something a lot more structured and accessible, however, in doing so they lose some of that repeat listening quality that the debut had. It’s an album that grips you on first listen but can become tiresome, not that this detracts from the fact that this is a strong, direct and energetic listen. The closest thing you’ll get to Hot Water Music these days outside of The Draft, only with an eye firmly on making this their breakout album from the underground.

7.

Idlewild

Post Electric Blues

Idlewild are one of the bands that have always threatened to break through to the mainstream and did with album ‘The Remote Part’ for a short time. Now with fan-funded album Post Electric Blues they seem to have stopped thriving for commercial success with grand indie balladry and made their most mature and natural album as a result. It still keeps the bands signature sound with Woomble’s tongue-twisting lyrics are as prevalent as ever, only now instead of making a folk album (Warnings/Promises) or a rock album (Make Another World) they’ve simply made an Idlewild album, as Woomble himself freely admits with lyrics from the title track ‘We’ve gone post electric, I’ve written down the concept”. Now any comparisons to their older work are made superfluous by just being so proud and confident of where they are now. This album also scores points for being decidedly more Scottish than previous outings, tracks like Circles in Stars could be lost Big Country B-Sides, and Woomble’s Scot brogue and sense of home enriches the album even more.

6.

Chuck Ragan

Gold Country

For a long time Chuck Ragan was simply known as the raspy-voiced one in seminal punk band Hot Water Music. He is now responsible for turning thousands of underground punk fans into country music by creating a series of authentic, Western country songs and make them sound credible and entirely natural. With Gold Country, as with all his music, it’s an album that feels very personal, played by friends for friends, and that sense of camaraderie gives the album a warm feeling. It sounds like country music should feel, down to earth, sing-your-heart-out, downtrodden violin-tinged Americana type stuff. Perfectly complemented by Chuck’s distinctive vocals, he’s a man that was made to sing this type of music.

5.

Telekenesis!

Tekekenesis!

Pure hook-laden pop music that urges you to create the perfect sunny afternoon just to play it. Michael Benjamin Learner’s debut channels 60’s pop music and Teenage Fanclub into an album that is instantly familiar, and by the same stone, ridiculously infectious. Clocking in at just under 30 minutes it’s simple, unpretentious fun, sweetly sung and energetically played.

4.

Strung Out

Agents of the Underground

Where as most 90’s skate punk bands have now either disbanded, been dropped by their label or sound way past their sell-by date, somehow veterans Strung Out still seem to keep moving forward. Forever tweeking their sound that now, after some 15 years, they seem to have finally found their comfort zone. This is a blistering listen, thunderous technical punk music, that sounds fresh and modern. Jason Cruz’s now raspy voice sounding more intense than ever, the musicianship is mind-blowing and the choruses soar, it sounds huge. Possibly the defining album of their career, and one that made me feel a fool for ever doubting their ability to evolve and push their sound.

3.

Propagandhi

Supporting Caste

If ever there is a modern punk band that transcends the cliché of 3 chord punk, make-up wearing poseurs and mindless political rhetoric it’s Propagandhi, these guys mean business both through their technical fretboard blistering thrash and their serious, intelligent politics. Supporting Caste was about the most intense record of the year, one that is genuinely horrifying in it’s well-researched political learnings, and one that is played and sang with a sincere anger and ferocity.

2.

Dredg

The Pariah, The Parrott and the Delusion

Dredg are a band that enjoy flirting between straight up alt-rock (Catch Without Arms) and more progressive art rock (El Cielo), and this album saw them combine the two brilliantly. Multi-layered tracks are split up with instrumental and vocal flourishes, and they even manage to squeeze in a power pop ballad or two. It’s an album that feels disjointed at it’s 18 tracks, and that took a lot of listens to click, but it’s also an album of real ambition and scale, one that leaves you exhausted and uplifted. The operatic vocals and some of the breaks are truly epic, the intersection in track ‘Quotes’ is a testament to their power.

1.

The Bouncing Souls

20th Anniversary Series

To celebrate the bands 20^th anniversary this was released as a single per month throughout 2009, as such it has grown throughout the year both as a whole and in my favour. Now with the split-song last single not disappointing it compiles into the Soul’s best and most rounded work to date. Sing-along punk of the tallest order, still as vibrant and heartfelt as they were when they started. Songs crammed full of nostalgia and sentiment, this sees the band on contemplative form in an album that is obviously a big thank you to fans.

In addition the track ‘Ghosts on the Boardwalk’ stands as my favourite track of the year.

EP’s / Singles

John K Samson - City Route 85

The Lawrence Arms - Buttsweat and Tears

Minus The Bear - Into The Mirror

Pulley - Time Insensitive Material

Small Brown Bike - Composite, Volume One

A Wilhelm Scream - S/T

Murder by Death Split Series

The Mountain Goats & John Vanderslice - Moon Colony Bloodbath

Albums that I heard too late to be included

Karen O and The Kids - Where The Wild Things Are

Nothington - Roads, Bridges and Ruins

Maybeshewill - Sing The Word Hope in Four-Part Harmony

In fact, I have to ask myself if it’s even worth bothering talking about gaping plot-holes (of which there were MANY), or whether to just leave them aside. There’s no way that I could do that, though, so excuse me while I rant. Russell T. Davies has been bugging me ever since the third season now, but The End of Time contains everything about his writing style that absolutely infuriates me. For starters, the second return of The Master was total bollocks, if less annoying than the Series Three finale, and it’s a chronic shame. John Simm does a grand job with him when he’s actually allowed to act, but for the most part he’s simply required to laugh like a maniac and/or use his fancy lightning-bolt skills. Where the fuck did they come from? His ‘resurrection’ went wrong, so that means he now has super powers? Or does RTD want to make us think that all Time Lords are able to do this, but have to hold themselves back like some kind of X-Man? Speaking of the Time Lords, too, their return should have been something on an absolutely colossal scale. But what do we get? A bunch of insane twats is what. Their plan was completely ludicrous, which may sound like an odd choice of word considering I’m talking about Doctor Who here, but what exactly were they trying to achieve? I was honestly hoping for them to make a serious return, providing a clean slate for Steven Moffat when his series starts, but no, we once again get RTD completely squandering the potential contained in his episodes. While I’m at it, what was the deal with that Time Lord lady being able to talk to Wilfred as an apparition? Who the bloody hell WAS she? The Doctor’s mother? The Master’s mother? Donna Bloody Noble? No explanation given here at all, other than that she was one of the Time Lords to oppose the vote on their return.

Let’s see, what else… oh yeah! Gallifrey knocking Earth out of its orbit? Can anyone honestly tell me the point of that? Seriously, did the Time Lords stop for one second to think that, if their plan were successful, Gallifrey would in all likelihood be unable to just simply replace the Earth’s orbit around the Sun? I’m no scientist, but isn’t Earth the only planet to actually be able to orbit the Sun at this position? I just don’t know… it was bad enough with Davros’ mental plan last time around, but using planets like marbles I simply could not suspend my disbelief for.

At any rate, much in the tradition of Russell T. Davies that he’s a good character writer, but terrible story writer, there was at least some fine moments of acting, even if the scene’s were pretty much rip-offs from other science fiction. Spock’s farewell from The Wrath of Khan springs to mind, with Wilfred being Kirk here and doing the whole teary speech thing. Even the situation was almost identical. But then, at the same time, why was Tennant’s Doctor so bothered by the whole impending regeneration? Look through Doctor Who history and you’ll spot that regenerations have always been handled rather briefly, even the much-loved Tom Baker’s, so why does David Tennant get to walk around making everyone’s life that little bit better? Because Russell T. Davies is a self-indulgent wanker, that’s why!

At this point, I honestly can’t wait to see what Steven Moffat does when the new series comes around. People are already up in arms over Matt Smith taking the mantle of The Doctor, and in all fairness, I can understand some of it. His introduction last night wasn’t exactly endearing, and if he insists on using ‘Geronimo’ as his catchphrase I may well end up punching the TV, but the trailer for the next series does indeed look rather spiffing. The Moffat episodes in previous seasons were easily some of the best, and while he always seemed more interested in his own additions to the Who universe (Girl in The Fireplace, the weeping angels from Blink where he all but ignored Martha and focused on Sally Sparrow, and even in the library where he was far more interested in River Song than any character that Davies had created) it’s easy to see why in retrospect, and I can only hope they’ve all been fuel for his take on the whole thing.

Sure, I’ll miss David Tennant, but at this point, all I can think is ‘roll on the new series’. I need to get the horrible feeling that I was thoroughly raped by Russell T. Davies out of my system.

Looking back over the year, there was a great deal to enjoy at the cinemas, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to sum up the films that have lured me to the stain seated multiplexes and why I loved them, or not.

The beginning of the year had the dramas - Gran Turino, Benjamin Button and The Wrestler all provided plenty of tears from girlfriends around the country, and I’m sure a damned lump in the throat of even the manliest man. Gran Turino came from nowhere with what could be the last classic Eastwood performance, and a story that reflected the changing world of an old man. Benjamin Button was a life-time spanning epic told using the traditional Shawshank-esque voice over, and a great supporting cast. And possibly the best of all The Wrestler saw slimey Hollywood playboy Micky Rourke play a role that for somebody whose favourite film is Rocky just ticked all the right boxes.

Animated films have really excelled this year, within a short period of time I caught ‘9′, ‘Up‘ and ‘Fantastic Mr Fox‘ that proved the timeless quality of animation and the sheer scope for versatility it provides. 9 had a quite enthralling steam-punk world and some imaginative, albeit shallow, sack people. ‘Up‘ was about my favourite film of the year, utterly charming, heart rendering and best of all laugh out loud funny. It has you close to tears within the first 15 minutes and close to pissing your pants within 30, and is surely the best work Pixar have done yet. Fantastic Mr Fox took a traditional story and shot it in what looked to be an entirely traditional manner, although I’m sure modern technology again played a part. It was eccentric and unique, so had Wes Anderson written all over it. Earlier in the year Coraline saw Henry Selleck create the kind of stop motion creepy world only he can (and that is usually attributed, wrongly, to Tim Burton).

British films have trodden a familiar path, either that of realistic grit, like the piss-stained concrete of the utterly depraved, if a bit silly in its nihilistic social commentary, Harry Brown. Or that of the feel good comedies in the vein of football-influenced The Damned United and Looking for Eric. Both painted a picture of the average British man and how football, a game scoffed at by many as pointless and moronic, can be used as a redemptive tool. It was certainly a good year for Michael Caine who gave inch-perfect performances in both the aforementioned Harry Brown, and the slightly less harrowing Is Anybody There? Where instead of losing his temper and going on a vigilante mission he gradually lost his mind in a poignant and downright upsetting manor. Either way they were performances of such detail and subtlety he has surely reached his peek as an actor.

Of course it can’t all be good, and the Hollywood action films have been mostly real stinkers, which is a shame as I enjoy a good violence soaked effects fest as much as anybody, just as long as it has a bit of excitement and character. Unlike the over long borefest Transformers 2, the only film to make giant robots and explosions seem less exciting than Norris losing a shoe on Coronation Street. Then there was the 90’s inspired 12 Rounds so totally derivative I’m surprised even Seagal himself would question releasing in as part of his “straight-to-dvd of the month” collection. But he probably would, if only to show John Cena that having so many muscles you can’t pronounce basic words is probably not a good way to break into an acting career, better stick to waving your hand in the way next time. Surrogates gave Bruce Willis an unforgettable hair piece but was really sci-fi by numbers with a couple of good chase sequences. The likes of 2012, Xmen Origins, GI Joe, and Angels and Demons I couldn’t even muster the enthusiasm to sit there comfortably for a couple of hours to watch them. There was some reprise from the much-maligned Terminator Salvation, that while lacking in actual Terminators was still a tense, exciting affair. And, in the same much despised vain, Watchmen, which was possibly too weird and philosophical for audiences expecting spandexed superheroes taking down a big name actor gone BAD (say Zack Efron sporting a bald cap who wants to take over the world using nothing but interpretive dance). It succeeded in bringing famously complex characters and ideas to the screen in a distinctive and bloody way. And, of course, for a complete Trekkie noob the Star Trek reboot was a riot, I also have a soft spot for The Taking of Pelham. However, none could make up for the crushing disappointment of Public Enemies, which wasted such a great cast and performances on a shallow, distant and uninvolving film, another dud for Michael Mann. Plus the digital HD it was shot in looked dog ugly.

The indie films went from the usual quirky hipster romantic comedies to the altogether more interesting zombie apocalypses with a sub-plot of hipster romantic comedy. Yes, Zombieland was immense fun and made Woody Harrellson credible again, plus it had cameo of the year. In the more traditional ones (500) Days of Summer was full of ideas but a little too painfully hip for its own good, elsewhere the slightly less hip Away We Go told a more down-to-earth story but was too forgettable and formulaic to really make a mark.

Then, of course, the Christmas period started, where The Christmas Carol made another appearance with a fairly average re-telling of the familiar tale, only shot in lush 3D. The Coen’s waded in with the strange A Serious Man, in what was the most Jewish people I’d ever seen in one place. Sadly, I missed most of the Jewish in-jokes. Then came the sombre mood-piece Where The Wild Things Are , easily the most beautifully shot film of the year, it just washes over you like a warm blanket slowly comforting you to sleep to a quite wonderful soundtrack. But will probably serve only to frustrate younger viewers or anybody who needs a solid plot and direction to enjoy a movie.

And that’s about all I can remember, bar a shout out to District 9 and Inglorious Basterds, both containing unknown actors giving performances of a lifetime, District’s Sharlto Copley went from bureaucratic cretin to an alien-armed renegade in a barrage of blood, sweat and amusing South African accents and Basterd’s Christopher Waltz as the soft-spoken Jew hunter was charming and intimidating in equal measure.

Oh and where is Avatar? I’m seeing it tomorrow.

The planet of Pandora is a green and verdant Eden. A place where animals and plants live in harmony, where the indigenous people (the Na’vi) live as one with their planet, where all are welcomed, and all is one. Snag is, its a place so rich in the improbably named mineral “Unobtanium” (worth $20 million per kilo, we are informed) that humans have turned up, and are mining it all away - knackering up the ecosystem in the process. In an attempt to prevent bloodshed and to keep the harmony, the mining company create and employ “Avatars” -  remote controllable, genetically bred  Na’vi fused psychically with the mind of a scientist/driver – with an eye to successful negotiation of mining rights.

With the death of one of the lead scientists comes an opportunity for his twin brother, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) to go to Pandora, drive an Avatar, and help the mining company achieve its goals. The chief security officer, Quaritch, enlists the new boy Sully to bring back tactical information on how to destroy the Na’vi so they can mine the Unobtainium by force if necessary. What follows has been described by some witty lags as “Dances With Smurfs” - to whit, Sully goes native and decides to rebel against the company, and after a prolonged training and initiation program, helps the Na’vi to fight off their oppressors.

Well – where to begin? The plot is a fairly involving piece. It has enough hardware moments to keep the sci-fi geek in you riveted, however it does tend to veer over ever so slightly into an almost Disney-esque level of twee-ness in its second act. Its thoroughly excusable given the scale of the film Cameron has made, but it did cause me to start experimenting with the 3D glasses and fidget a bit - blowing bubbles in my drink (before I realised I was annoying everyone and should stop being such a tool). And I did have a worrying moment where I was convinced there was gonna be a Na’vi sex scene. Cameron wisely chose to leave that bit out.

The planet of Pandora is not really describable in terms of special effects, because it is nothing but a special effect. Every blade of grass, galloping monster and swooping bird is a CG item – the Avatars/Na’vi are CG too. So its best to think about how they make you feel, and what they add to the film. I will say that the first time you see them, they do look a bit strange. Sully gets into his Na’vi, and lumberingly trashes a laboratory – funny, but somehow it jars you and looks just a bit off. Then you get into Pandora, and that almost immediately disappears as our old friend “suspension of disbelief” takes hold. Camerons teams have made a perfectly seamless world. Its truly breathtaking, I kid you not. Think what Ridley Scott could have done with Legend if he had CG in the early 80’s, and you’re getting there. I would foam on about this more, but I doubt I can do it justice. WAIT TIL’ YOU SEE IT, is all I can say…

The performances are overall pretty good. Worthington comes out well as Jake Sully, giving a much broader performance here than he did in the execrable Terminator : Salvation (bear in mind that he was literally the ONLY good thing in that film). Stephen Lang as Colonel Quaritch finally finds a role that can use him well and give him the wide exposure he richly deserves. The three leading ladies pull out three very different levels of performance. Zoe Saldana is genuinely affecting as Neytiri, the tribeswoman who befriends Sully and teaches him the ways of the Na’vi. Sigourney Weaver pulls out yet another in a long line of tough, hardheaded ladies – and she fits the bill perfectly, although you do wish she’d jump into one of the exosuits in the film and confront Lang, screeching “Get away from her, you bitch”. Michelle Rodriguez acquits herself well with a performance that seems maybe a bit too marginalised, and feels somewhat reminiscent of the similar “Vasquez” character played in Cameron’s Aliens by Jeanette Goldstein.

The much touted 3D is used in an understated way which makes it all the more effective. Its used to create a much deeper field of view in the frame, so someone down the back of a shot is exactly that – far away. There are no hysterically gimmicky 3D moments in the entire film, and that adds to the immersiveness of it. 3D stopped being a novelty to me sometime in the 1980’s after my first visit to Disney World, so to see it used to properly integrate you into a story-world without trying to whack you with flying objects makes it all new again.

What can I say to sum this up? Avatar is a game changer. It takes virtual film-making to a new order of complexity, and it employs technology and 3D in the way that you wish it had been used all along. However crucially, and please bear in mind that I found Titanic to be crushingly boring,  it brings Cameron slap bang back into the sci-fi/fantasy genre - right back where he belongs. I’ve been waiting for you to come back for an awfully long time Jim, and I’m so glad you did. I missed you.

There’s a lot of hate being flung around about this show, but I for one wish to fly against the wind  and say straight off that I quite like it. You see, when I originally saw “The Prisoner” on a rerun in the late 1980’s, I had this whole “What the hell is this?” opinion of it. I wasn’t aware of any cult status or value, and I took it on its own merits. I decided then and there, that this was “seriously weird”.

The vibe it threw off was unlike any other show I’d ever seen, and after viewing it I noticed that since its initial airing in 1967, it was a vibe that had been replicated all over the place after the fact. But this show was, to my mind, the first. This remake/reboot/relaunch/retelling (not sure what the given parlance is for it) threw the exact same vibe at me.

Indeed, I think I like it for the reasons why many people hate it. The casting of Caviezel, which has been negatively commented on by at least one user on IMDB, worked for me. He doesn’t seem quite right, in a place that doesn’t seem quite right, with a group of characters that themselves don’t seem quite right. The pace was slow, and plodding. The location was isolated and freakish. The updated theme of a lack of humanity in a “You’re very welcome” world worked well – it set the vibe up nicely for me.

A large part of the criticism of a show like this is that it is quite obscure.  Shows like “Twin Peaks”, “Wild Palms”, and latterly “Lost” have brought this central “weirdness” into the mainstream, so bizarrely people have expectations of it. Couple that with the fact that we’re so used to the scripted procedural cop/medical shows that something out of left field like this rails against our expectations and we dismiss it. Which is a shame.

As for Ian McKellen - well, its true to say that the show perks up immensely whenever he’s on the screen. He’s electric in his performance, and he goes a long way into selling the  underlying menace of “The Village”. He accomplishes more with a well timed leer, or a languorously breathed word than everyone else in the cast. He’s marvellous, once again.

What didn’t I like? Well – its a truth that this interpretation does drag on a bit. Its in six parts, and without anything approaching a fast moving narrative, it makes you lunge for the kettle more often than not. Also, the treatment of the female characters in the plot is a touch distant. You feel more for the way less prominently placed gay characters in the piece (for there are one or two) than the leading women, but thats just fly picking on my behalf, I fear.

No - I like this redo. You have to think of it as a companion piece to the original, a re-interpretation of the themes and the situations, not as something designed to replace the original. As I watched it, I thought to myself “this is seriously weird”, which is as good a compliment as I think “The Prisoner” can ever get.

As a huge fan of last year’s original, and admittedly one of the initial doubters of a sequel being announced so soon, let me make it clear that the amount of content Valve have added and tweaked makes for a much-changed game.

The first massive thing to notice is, of course, the new special infected. The three new special infected change the game radically, and call for entirely new tactics in a game everyone thought they had figured out. The Charger may initially seem to be the most unoriginal of the bunch, looking something like a ‘mini’ Tank, but seeing this guy in action is quite frankly horrible. He moves at around twice the speed of the Tank, and similarly to the Hunter, attacks only one target. If he grabs you, however, you better hope your team mates are around, as he continuously pummels you into the ground, dealing horrific amounts of damage. The Jockey is definitely the ‘weasel’ of the bunch, diving onto your back and dragging you away from your fellow survivors, and making sure to take you in the direction where you will be in the most danger. Unlike the Smoker, who he certainly sounds similar to, he isn’t capable of dealing any direct damage himself, merely focusing on causing you some serious inconvenience. The Spitter, however, may well be my favorite of the new bunch. She moves in a way that looks like she belongs in Silent Hill, and she has clearly been designed to screw around with the ‘camping’ tactic of the original Left 4 Dead. Banding together in a corner, with two survivors crouching in front, and the other two standing behind used to be the perfect solution to dealing with the overwhelming horde. While that still works for a while here, try doing that while a Spitter is around and you can expect your whole team to be downed in seconds. The acid she spits may not be too damaging if you are moving, but standing still will result in a pretty much instant death, forcing the survivors to split up.

Aside from the new infected, there seem to be a huge variety of guns this time. Even in the demo there are three varieties of shotgun alone, and this is before we even get the melee weapons. The demo gave glimpses of the frying pan, night stick, machete, and my favorite so far, a fender, all of which were more than capable of dishing out some damage. Only when the game is released proper will we get to see just how effective using a melee weapon over your trusty pistol is, mind.

Unfortunately, however, the popularity of the demo on LIVE caused some appalling synchronization and lag problems. I played with pretty much the same group of people I used to hammer the original with, and while the new infected do force you to mix up your game and adapt new strategies, there is simply no way we would ever let ourselves be raped quite so badly as what the lag was doing to us. I mean literally, on my screen I saw a Jockey at the end of an alleyway, and a second later he was on my back dragging me away. I’ll try the demo again periodically over the next few days and see if the experience smooths out.

Either way, there’s absolutely no question that I’ll be picking this up when it lands in a couple of weeks. While the initial horror and glee of what I first had with the brilliant original last year is unlikely to be recreated, Valve have mixed up the game enough and thrown in so much new stuff to play with, that this will easily be a staple multiplayer game for the holiday season all over again. And that’s just going by the demo.

I still miss Bill, though…

I almost didn’t see ‘9′, the reviews and word-of-mouth had been almost entirely negative, I had even stumbled upon some truly scathing 1-star reviews. Thankfully I trusted my better judgement and took the plunge, and was completely surprised by the sheer quality on display. To start the visuals in 9 are breath-taking, be it the desolate post-apocalyptic cities, the Victorian-esque gadgetry, the terrifying mechanical monsters or the charming sack people protagonists - this was obviously a labour of love for all involved. This may sound shallow but I could happily watch this films short 79 minutes runtime just for the visuals and wouldn’t feel short-changed. However, this wouldn’t be doing the film justice as it has a lot more to offer, especially in terms of ideas.

For one the characters, they may seem archetypal at first - there’s the dumb strong one, the head strong leader, the chirpie female, but this is exactly the point. The nine characters all make up the soul of an actual human being in a world where humankind has been made extinct by machines. And it’s only by combining their strengths will they become strong, where as the bickering, segregated humans could only see conflict amongst themselves. Nevertheless having such 1 dimensional characters can frustrate, even if they are no less alluring because of it.

It’s a shame then that the same amount of ideas didn’t go into the story-telling itself, which feels too quick and disjointed. At points in the film a character will have an idea, convince others, complete the mission and be home for tea (so to speak) within 10 minutes. The actual quests themselves make little use of the brilliant landscape and world it has created for itself, it could have been a Lord of the Rings style adventure, instead they feel more like a video game level. Therefore it flies by at a blistering pace, and it’s only near the second half does an actual solid plot start to surface. Not that the first half is at all made dull as a result, in fact, if there’s one reason the first half moves so quickly its down to some tense and exciting action scenes. It takes a lot to bring a sense of peril into an animated film and 9 achieves this with consummate ease to such a degree that, parents, this will terrify the bejesus out of your little ones. But who said animation is only for children?

All in all, 9 is a film that will leave its mark in your mind for its visuals but try remembering what actually happened the next day and you may struggle.